Citlegwee is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic crane.

Citlegwee created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Citlegwee, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Citlegwee, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Citlegwee's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Citlegwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three badgers in a large pit.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never wear kilts.