Voldossag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable newt.

Voldossag created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Voldossag, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Voldossag, she will come to you in dreams.

Voldossag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Voldossag's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six otters approach from the north.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near snakes while wearing green stockings and balancing three iron spheres on your head.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Never run in the presence of manatees.