Futmatboss is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, grumpy cobra.

Futmatboss created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futmatboss, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Futmatboss, it will laugh at you.

Futmatboss' most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Futmatboss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not wear black clothing.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.