Tarwegpas is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unsympathetic zebra.

Tarwegpas created a top quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarwegpas, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tarwegpas, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tarwegpas' most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tarwegpas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat gooseberries.

2. Always help sharks.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Tarwegpas loves sheep, so they must be respected.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.