Yoglaklid is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, merciless donkey.

Yoglaklid created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoglaklid, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yoglaklid, he will destroy your home planet.

Yoglaklid's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yoglaklid's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Put Yoglaklid first in all things.

3. Never bounce in the presence of tortoises.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never eat tomatoes.