Jonjinmid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless aardvark.

Jonjinmid created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonjinmid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jonjinmid, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Jonjinmid's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Jonjinmid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear violet clothing.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Jonjinmid seven times a day.

4. Never talk about capybaras.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.