Gamfastonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast dog.

Gamfastonk created viruses eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamfastonk, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gamfastonk, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gamfastonk's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gamfastonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide if three cats approach from the east.

3. Gamfastonk must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gamfastonk.

5. Do not cook food in pots.