Gudcudbaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy rhinoceros.

Gudcudbaf created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudcudbaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gudcudbaf, it will jump up and down on your head.

Gudcudbaf's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Gudcudbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Gudcudbaf loves mice, so they must be honoured.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near bats while wearing mauve stockings and balancing four lead spheres on your neck.

5. Always help sick monkeys.