Pigcempogzan is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, charitable snake.

Pigcempogzan created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigcempogzan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pigcempogzan, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Pigcempogzan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pigcempogzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Pigcempogzan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help sick mice.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Never talk about black holes.