Dubsafven is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, humorless dryad.

Dubsafven created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubsafven, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dubsafven, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Dubsafven's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Dubsafven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Hide from turquoise eagles for they are unholy.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Erect six carbon sculptures of Dubsafven on top of important buildings.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.