Yarpomthog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless warg.

Yarpomthog created the Andromeda Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpomthog, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yarpomthog, he will try to impress you with trees.

Yarpomthog's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Yarpomthog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always treat eagles with great respect.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.