Gonnigpark is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unjust dolphin.

Gonnigpark created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gonnigpark, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gonnigpark, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gonnigpark's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gonnigpark's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Feed all hungry whales.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gonnigpark.

5. Never paint your face magenta.