Botortnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful goblin.

Botortnutt created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Botortnutt, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Botortnutt, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Botortnutt's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Botortnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight swans approach from the north.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.