Bonflagdiss is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, able slug.

Bonflagdiss created bats five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonflagdiss, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bonflagdiss, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bonflagdiss' most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Bonflagdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed rice to whales while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.