Kempantof is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered snail.

Kempantof created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kempantof, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kempantof, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Kempantof's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Kempantof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Always help sick shrews.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not eat rice.