Hapstikshav is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous jackal.

Hapstikshav created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapstikshav, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hapstikshav, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hapstikshav's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Hapstikshav's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Hapstikshav loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Never look at asteroids.