Gombastbid is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, stupid shark.

Gombastbid created humankind eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gombastbid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gombastbid, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Gombastbid's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Gombastbid's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of mites.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.