Farlapwad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, uncaring capybara.

Farlapwad created the Andromeda Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Farlapwad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Farlapwad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Farlapwad's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Farlapwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near capybaras while wearing turquoise shirts and balancing four lead spheres on your back.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never paint your feet fawn.

5. Never talk about fire.