Vagkopcem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful mink.

Vagkopcem created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vagkopcem, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vagkopcem, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Vagkopcem's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vagkopcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about electromagnetism.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never hurt sheep.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.