Teenwiphatfed is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody snake.

Teenwiphatfed created the Sunflower Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Teenwiphatfed, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenwiphatfed, he will send you a sign.

Teenwiphatfed's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Teenwiphatfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Teenwiphatfed.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Teenwiphatfed.

5. Teenwiphatfed loves doves, so they must be honoured.