Begkipyatsand is a god.

It takes the form of a small, kind seal.

Begkipyatsand created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begkipyatsand, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Begkipyatsand, it will turn you into a puffin.

Begkipyatsand's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Begkipyatsand's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about gravity near frogs while wearing black stockings.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never jump near ants.