Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured hamster.

Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tailfarnpasquat Vogwadbom in the centre of the settlement.