Yimkenquag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful octopus.

Yimkenquag created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Yimkenquag, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yimkenquag, she will turn you into a worm.

Yimkenquag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yimkenquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never mention mites.

3. Never think about dark matter near tortoises while wearing gray trousers and balancing three platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.