Sakkanbon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, clever penguin.

Sakkanbon created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakkanbon, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sakkanbon, it will turn you into a snail.

Sakkanbon's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Sakkanbon's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling space.

3. Never talk about special relativity near mice while wearing indigo dresses.

4. Never feed peanuts to gulls while wearing shirts.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.