Benstignurl is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, witty squirrel.

Benstignurl created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Benstignurl, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Benstignurl, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Benstignurl's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Benstignurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Benstignurl's name in vain.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Feed all hungry porpoises.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.