Stafnillxucpan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, confident ant.

Stafnillxucpan created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafnillxucpan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Stafnillxucpan, he will destroy your home solar system.

Stafnillxucpan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Stafnillxucpan's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling space.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never feed cucumbers to mites while wearing corsets.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not hurt ducks.