Capbastsom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing mole.

Capbastsom created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Capbastsom, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Capbastsom, it will throw large rocks at you.

Capbastsom's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Capbastsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime near capybaras while wearing indigo coats and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Always help sick porpoises.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. You must love Capbastsom.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.