Bamzendud is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful wolf.

Bamzendud created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamzendud, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bamzendud, he will remove you from existence.

Bamzendud's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bamzendud's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bamzendud.

3. Do not keep three gulls in a large pit.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. Never feed lots of tomatoes to bats while wearing brown boots.