Biglaklog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, merciful narwhal.

Biglaklog created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Biglaklog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Biglaklog, he will turn you into a sheep.

Biglaklog's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Biglaklog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not drink alcohol.