Fossmutmatnutt Bastquamcut is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, vain bear.

Fossmutmatnutt Bastquamcut created energy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fossmutmatnutt Bastquamcut, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fossmutmatnutt Bastquamcut, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fossmutmatnutt Bastquamcut's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Fossmutmatnutt Bastquamcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide from white dogs for they are unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help sheep in need.