Fitkanbottal is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, annoying wasp.

Fitkanbottal created a top quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitkanbottal, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitkanbottal, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Fitkanbottal's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fitkanbottal's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Do not make images of living things.