Fligcusswee is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, conceited mole.

Fligcusswee created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fligcusswee, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fligcusswee, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Fligcusswee's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fligcusswee's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Fligcusswee on top of important buildings.

2. Never mention whales.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Do not hurt manatees.