Cadwipstig is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, emotional turtle.

Cadwipstig created vertebrates seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cadwipstig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cadwipstig, he will try to impress you with trees.

Cadwipstig's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cadwipstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not wear green clothing.

4. Cadwipstig loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.