Dumquambonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy squirrel.

Dumquambonk created Mount Everest eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumquambonk, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dumquambonk, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Dumquambonk's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Dumquambonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about wheat.

2. Worship no other gods but Dumquambonk.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Always help badgers.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.