Armvonkbat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, egotistical zebra.

Armvonkbat created dark matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armvonkbat, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Armvonkbat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Armvonkbat's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Armvonkbat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always look after injured grasshopers.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.