Kopvenrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unthinking alligator.

Kopvenrutt created the Andromeda Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Kopvenrutt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kopvenrutt, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kopvenrutt's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kopvenrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five seals approach from the west.

2. Retreat if six snails approach from the south.

3. Put Kopvenrutt first in all things.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.