Badvilpit is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, contented beaver.

Badvilpit created humanity nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Badvilpit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Badvilpit, he will turn you into a worm.

Badvilpit's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Badvilpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always help sick turtles.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always stare at clouds.