Tigpodfit is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, temperamental duck.

Tigpodfit created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigpodfit, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tigpodfit, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Tigpodfit's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Tigpodfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

5. Never wear yellow trousers.