Farnlaphas is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unfair bear.

Farnlaphas created a photon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Farnlaphas, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Farnlaphas, he will strike you with lightening.

Farnlaphas' most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Farnlaphas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.