Bastjopdoss is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, effective manatee.

Bastjopdoss created a Higgs boson three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bastjopdoss, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bastjopdoss, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bastjopdoss' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bastjopdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Bastjopdoss on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Bastjopdoss.