Quaflib is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, awesome giraffe.

Quaflib created everything that exists seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaflib, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Quaflib, he will laugh at you.

Quaflib's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quaflib's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not hurt gulls.

3. Never skip in the presence of goats.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Do not wear black clothing.