Besston is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, stupid lobster.

Besston created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Besston, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Besston, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Besston's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Besston's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.