Cablunfassagbit is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-knowing giraffe.

Cablunfassagbit created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cablunfassagbit, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cablunfassagbit, she will turn you into a plant.

Cablunfassagbit's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Cablunfassagbit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never paint your legs green.

3. Put Cablunfassagbit first in all things.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Retreat if six badgers approach from the west.