Fetdotnull is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, two-faced monkey.

Fetdotnull created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetdotnull, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fetdotnull, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fetdotnull's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Fetdotnull's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fetdotnull.

2. Always wear pink.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Fetdotnull loves voles, so they must be respected.