Tonkcusstomnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, staggering ant.

Tonkcusstomnurt created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcusstomnurt, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonkcusstomnurt, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Tonkcusstomnurt's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tonkcusstomnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Put Tonkcusstomnurt first in all things.

3. You must love Tonkcusstomnurt.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always stare at clouds.