Monster Langardam Ciptontip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty hamster.

Monster Langardam Ciptontip created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Monster Langardam Ciptontip, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Monster Langardam Ciptontip, he will turn you into a dog.

Monster Langardam Ciptontip's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Monster Langardam Ciptontip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.