Wigsadcab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, boastful spider.

Wigsadcab created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigsadcab, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wigsadcab, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wigsadcab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Wigsadcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick porpoises.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Hide from fawn snakes for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill pigs.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.