Jendanjam is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, boastful lobster.

Jendanjam created matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Jendanjam, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Jendanjam, it will turn you into a duck.

Jendanjam's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Jendanjam's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.