Nurthenzim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy shark.

Nurthenzim created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurthenzim, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nurthenzim, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nurthenzim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Nurthenzim's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Nurthenzim loves voles, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not chop down trees.