Getcumjad is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, sage fly.

Getcumjad created the Small Magellanic Cloud five billion years ago.

If you believe in Getcumjad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Getcumjad, he will cry a lot.

Getcumjad's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Getcumjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Do not eat turnips.

4. Do not hurt tortoises.

5. Do not wear carbon on your body.